Apple is poised to buy the Print Division of Yellow Pages for $10 billion, it was announced today.

“It fits in perfectly with our acquisition strategy,” said Tim Cook.

“When the internet breaks, which it surely will, our customers will want access to printed information.

“For over 50 years, the Yellow Pages Directory has been delivered into people’s homes. We want that tradition to continue.”

Apple’s CEO continued his thoughts.

“When we were launching Apple, ’Let your fingers do the walking’ was an inspiration to us,” explained Cook.

“What was good enough for JR Hartley is good enough for me.

“Apple have also been stockpiling Encyclopaedia Britannicas so that we can launch them when the internet irretrievably collapses.”

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