Mook News is a satirical website. This means that no article that we publish is meant to be taken seriously or is at all factual. Mmmkay?
Other than public figures, all names are invented and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental (except for a few dickheads who we went to school with).
If anyone is still blanking on The First Amendment (the one that protects satire as a form of free speech and expression, not the one that lets you marry your shotgun), all complaints, lawsuits, death threats or anything other than the most gushing of fan mail can be directed to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Mook News is not meant for anyone under the age of 18. This is because we occasionally employ the use of curse words that no under-18-year-old will understand and we don’t want to confuse their delicate, developing minds.
We’re doing this for the love and the lolz and the only thing that we ask of you in return is that you share our content at least seven times a day.