Brexit aims to bring back the golden age of Great Britain and, for better or worse, British citizens are strapped in for the ride. One of the key benefits of this politically divisive decision is that old British phrases that have fallen out of fashion will re-enter into the common vernacular.
Here are 11 old British phrases that are going to be brought back after Britain leaves the EU.
11. “Ding dong!”
Vocally imitating a doorbell has and always will be the best way to show appreciation for a woman’s form, and there’s no reason why we should ignore this fact any longer.
10. “Jim’ll fix it.”
In post-Brexit Britain, a veritable army of Jims will fill the vacuum left by Polish plumbers, builders and joiners. Always ask for a receipt.
9. “Don’t tell them your name, Pike.”
8. “It was Colonel Mustard in the library with the lead piping.”
This versatile phrase fell out of favour after Henry Mustard, an ex-army officer who was acquitted of murdering his wife, sued the O.E.D in 1978. He’s set to die of liver cancer in a few years, so Britain is bringing it back! Go Britain!
7. “Buck Rogered.”
As in, “The wife’s away, I’m going to get absolutely Buck Rogered tonight.”
6. “Johnny Foreigner.”
Ever met a foreigner called Johnny? Me neither. And you’ll be even less likely to meet one in two years time. Still, the phrase is very fun to shout at the telly.
5. “It’s not cricket.”
Once Britain leaves the EU, its citizens will only be allowed to play sports that were invented by the British. If you’re in any doubt as to the heritage of your sport, ask yourself whether it’s cricket. If the answer is indeed no, as in ‘it’s not cricket’, you can pack up your pétanque set and fuck right off to the land of Johnny Foreigner.
4. “God Save The King!”
This one hasn’t been in circulation for over 60 years, but in a couple of years you’ll hear it sung school assemblies, pubs after closing time and during the closing credits of The Great British Bake Off.
3. “Bob’s your uncle.”
After Brexit, your uncle Bob will repeatedly remind you of your parentage via his brother/your father.
2. “Gin o’clock!”
Or as the politically correct brigade currently call it, the ‘school run’.
Linguistic experts predict that once Britain is freed from the shackles of EU bureaucracy, the phrase, “Eels!” will be screamed approximately 300% more often.
Are there any old British phrases that you’d like to see come back into everyday usage? Let us know in the comments section below!